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Some places announce themselves with fireworks and enough polished surfaces to make a person feel underdressed by the time they have located reception. Arjan Cave at Kamalaya does something far more interesting. It sits at the centre of the retreat, faintly amused, as if it has watched centuries of human fuss come and go and has decided silence remains the best review.
There are some cultural events that require careful intellectual preparation and a willingness to discuss postmodern symbolism over a lukewarm chardonnay. Then there is Harry Potter: The Exhibition, which requires only that you choose a Hogwarts house, and accept that at some point you may find yourself queuing cheerfully to be photographed in a cupboard.
The first thing to know about The Ritz-Carlton Bali is that it is not Mandapa. Let us clear that up before anyone starts packing linen trousers for Ubud and preparing to commune with a rice field. This is the Ritz-Carlton in Nusa Dua, perched in that gloriously polished corner of Bali where the ocean sparkles like it has been briefed by management, and even the golf carts seem to glide about with a quiet sense of purpose.
There are two things Anastasia has in common with Taylor Swift and I feel both are worth celebrating. First, glitter. And when has glitter ever made anything worse? Second, American accents. Which, in a musical about Russia and France performed in Sydney by Australians, did initially make my brain do a tiny, confused pirouette.







